The Right Stuff for Finding a Job–What Should I Major In?

A recent Huffington Post tweet cited a Wall Street Journal article that listed the eleven college majors with the highest levels of unemployment at present.   The list includes several fields of psychology, history, miscellaneous fine arts, military technology, library science, linguistics and comparative literature, and computer management and security. 

What are we to make of this?  Are we, when push comes to shove, a society of people who consider mental health a luxury, prefer our books unshelved, our literature uncompared and operate on the internet without updating our McAfee subscription?  Are  we doomed to repeat the lessons of history and have no art to look at to boot?  Will we turn into dullards who only program computers, build stuff, and administer drugs and care for each other in nursing homes?  What do we make of these trends?

An education is expensive.  The lack of one is even more expensive.  I would say that there are some other lists we need to get the whole picture.  Consider these two lists before picking your field

Ten most unemployable skills

1. Ability to emit odors of all kinds
2. Translator for imaginary creatures in the room
3. Ability to project your whiney voice through walls and doors
4. Photographic memory for others failings, past sins, and accounts of family members’ medical conditions and procedures, especially textures, colors and smells.
5. Fiction writing, especially when filling out reports or explaining why you were late to work–AGAIN
6. Ponzi scheme administrator
7. Burnout prevention detector—formerly called, “Lazy.”
8. Process Debater
9. Work Thespians—trained in the art of appearing to work without ever actually doing anything.  Work Thespians are skilled in walking around, minimizing the Solitaire game  quickly, and being clear about what is not in their job description.
10. Micromanagers.  For some reason, there is a profound oversupply of these folks who are highly skilled in knowing what everyone else needs to be doing

Ten majors that will get hired eventually in any economy

1. Humanity
2. Integrity
3. Responsibility
4. Hard-Worker
5. Team Player
6. Maturity
7. Multiple major in Honesty, Fairness, Respect and Appreciation
8. Insight into Oneself
9. Compassion
10. Transformers—especially with emphases on turning discussions into actions, competition into teamwork, and problems into solutions.