Amid the intense battles in this political moment,  a most exciting development for the MAGA  faithful is that the President has appointed himself Chair of the Kennedy Center. MAGA world is positively abuzz with excitement as the venue promises a pro-America makeover. Kentucky Fried Chicken, Carl’s Junior, and McDonalds are planning concession booths as the the stars of the far, far, far right jockey for seats and luxury boxes.

According to the New York Times, “Stephen K. Bannon, the longtime Trump adviser, thinks there should be an opening night performance of the J6 Prison Choir, made up of men once imprisoned for their role in the assault on the Capitol but now pardoned by Mr. Trump. The president could also emulate one of his favorite authoritarians, Prime Minister Viktor Orban of Hungary, who poured hundreds of millions of dollars into state-sanctioned art to glorify the nation and his leadership.”  (“Trump’s Revenge Now Includes His Takeover of the Kennedy Center,” by Elizabeth Bumiller, NYT February 18, 2025.)

There are rumors that several other acts are in conversation with the President, even as he is unleashing the Golden Age of America, planning high rise condos in Gaza, renaming oceans, and bringing world peace through real estate and strip mining.The Red Army Choir has been approached to sing “Slavery and Suffering” to follow the J6 choir and a recitation of “The Subways of Moscow,” an exciting new poem by Tucker Carlson.

One can only imagine the exciting pipeline of hitherto unheard country music, church choirs and Branson afternoon matinees ahead, but one rumor is that Lara Trump is already scheduled to be the first honoree. Kid Rock was considered to sing his greatest hits but the set list only lasted five minutes.

It is important, said MAGA spokesman John Barron, that we all accept the inevitable: a 1.5 percentage point landslide, just shy of fifty percent of the two thirds of those who bothered to vote, means the entire world must be now completely subservient, magafried, extra-crispy and give obeisance to his Eminence.All must bow in humble adoration of the greatness of our President/King. No more drag queens. No more salsa, Latin, Mexican, hip hop, or that awful music you hear in the car next to you at the red light vibrating your mirror. Just good, clean, real American music.

Who better than daughter in law Lara, who’s been heard on Fox News and other great music venues, singing for the President and all of his closest friends in Congress who are afraid of his crazy followers? The possible setlist has already been floating out there and lots of special guest singers. What do you think?

• “Send in the Clowns”
• “Springtime for Hitler” from The Producers
• “Old ManTrump” by Woody Guthrie
• “White Christmas”
• “Love the One You’re With” (duet with J. D. Vance)
• “O Lord, Won’t You Buy Me a Mercedes Benz?”
• “Pennies from Heaven”
• Blazing Saddles medley:”Ballad of Rock Ridge/ Voodoo You Do/ I’m Tired”
• “Plastic Jesus” from Cool Hand Luke
• “This Land is My Land, It Isn’t Your Land”
• “Sympathy for the Devil,” (solo by Stephen Miller)
• “Ain’t Misbehavin’” (with Matt Gaetz and Lauren Boebert)
• “Another One Bites the Dust” by Queen (with the Supreme Court Five)
• “Fortunate Son” by CCR (with Don and Eric)
• “Looking for a Handout” by Johnny Paycheck 
• “Why Can’t We be Friends” by War
• “Baby Sharks Got a BIG Booger in His Nose” (with Elon and X)
• “You Can Have the Crown” by Sturgill Simpson
• “They’re Coming to Take Me Away” 

Promises to be quite a show.

*For MAGA faithful, all but the second paragraph are satire in this piece. It means it isn’t literally true and requires a sense of humor. Satire is…, well, aww, heck, look it up.