When the new Pope began speaking, I wasn’t sure what language I’d be hearing, so I turned on “live captioning.” When he said, “We must pray to Mother Mary” in Italian, it said, “Pray to Mother PayPal.” (Did that J.D. Vance do that?)

In the gospel of Matthew, we are told the Wise men came to Jerusalem, asking where the child was to be born. The Bible says, “When King Herod heard this, he was frightened, and all Jerusalem with him.” As a precaution, he ordered all the baby boys massacred. So when terrible things happen, trace irrational oppression. You often will find the violence and hate is preceded by fear.

Sometimes online debates remind me of the old Calvinistic gentleman who fell down the stone steps coming out of church. He picked himself up, dusted himself off, and said, “I’m glad I got that over with.” When I got my Ph.D. our theology seminars were three hours of arguments and blood on the floor about, oh, anything in the past 2000 years of religious thought. A hard fought argument was necessary to prepare for defense of your dissertation. When we walked out it was over. Then we’d go out for coffee or lunch. The absence of coffee with the “other” is the poison in our well. Virtual debate just isn’t the same. Too easy to hide in enclaves of reassurance. You need a live person.

A friend once emailed a group I belong to: “What kind of church does America need?” It’s like asking, “What is wrong with our relationship?” How long do you have? But ask me where I see hope and I can see plenty. Mostly where we rarely look.

Our relationships–family, friends, neighbors and colleagues–tend to bring out the best in us. Take good care of them. They’re the foundation for repairing what’s wrong with our collective life. Not all of them, of course. Some are like carbs—manage your intake.

Patriotism in the defense of extremism is not liberty. 

Faith without works is dead, said the book of James. And faith without reason can only exist on cable and at rallies.

Every year, Lyndon Johnson, Pee Wee Herman and I celebrate our birthdays together on the same day. This is an encouragement and a warning.

It occurs to me in this moment of insufferable and infantile tirades and resentments that we might need more parties, more rejoicing, more marking of times, and far more blessing.